Sunday I had my assessment to start my fitness program again. Mind you I am 3 months post par tum and had a c-section to deliver an 11 pound child. To say my body has been beaten up over the last year would be an understatement. I have gained a lot of weight and since I didn’t work out during my pregnancy I am not as muscular as I was prior to getting pregnant and my abs are practically shot, thank you diastasis recti. (For those of you unfamiliar with this term it is simply the abdominal muscles being separated during pregnancy leaving a gap in between them once your stomach goes back to post baby). My hopes are that I can get fit and stay fit through my next pregnancy.
So I walk in to the gym that I am signed up at, which is new to me, I would have gone back to my previous fitness center but they don’t take infants under 6 months of age, and I begin walking on the treadmill while I wait for my coach on face-time. Seeing myself on the screen is hard, I see the weight in my face and I have braces so I don’t think highly of my appearance at the moment. My self confidence these days has taken quite a hit. The parts of my body that I did like are now a little more flabby and plump or bear the marks of having a baby. I know there are woman out there that would be thrilled to have the tiger stripes, and I feel for them, but that doesn’t take away from my feelings or the fact that I no longer recognize the person I see in the mirror.
I finally get in touch with my coach and we go through my hour long assessment. Man did I not realize just how out of shape I am. I even told her that I might not have another kid because this time I felt like I took 10 steps back after getting fit before baby number 2. I was doing side planks and shook forcefully, as I attempted to maintain my form for the entirety of the exercise. She encouraged me though, to not get discouraged and the reason I have her on my team was so she could get me back on track and feeling better about myself.
The next day, however, I felt the pain, as much as I wanted to complain, I love having muscular pain and knowing that it is for the purpose of getting my fitness back on track, taking control of my life. I am super stoked to start my workout routine on the first and see how the weight falls off now that my nutrition is getting better. I couldn’t be happier about the journey I am on.
I purposely leave this blog post image-less because I am not comfortable at this time to show my current state. I will get to the point of doing my before and after photos to show all my readers out there that it is possible. But, I have been doing a lot of sharing about my self-image and I am still not fully comfortable divulging it all. I want to be a vulnerable blogger, and I am trying to, so I invite you to stick around and follow me on this path of purpose!